How are things between you and your partner?
Are you both feeling happy, whole, and heard? Or is it time to reflect on the state of your relationship? Would it do you some good to respond to the signs of strain and unresolved issues that are wearing on your relationship satisfaction?
It’s okay to admit that your happily-ever-after needs a shot in the arm. Or maybe even major surgery.
You’re not alone. Couples just like you recognize a similar need and seek help all the time.
If we’re being honest, happily ever afters don’t happen without work and that’s alright. Strong relationships are constantly in motion, stretching you and testing you in ways that are not easy. For anyone.
Problems arise when we believe romantic movies and poetic catchphrases like “all you need is love” and “love will find a way” are reassurance that our relationships can thrive with little effort on our part.
The truth? Couples everywhere recognize that keeping relationships productive, communicative, and positive may take some extra effort …and a bit of outside expertise.
There is absolutely no shame it in and no reason to delay your journey to reconnection.
Solid couples counseling can help you navigate and sustain a loving, secure union. Take a moment to consider the following:
7 Common Reasons Couples Just Like You Seek Counseling
- The love boat is drifting.
You just feel somehow disconnected from each other. Out of sync. Maybe you have a sense that you’ve just been floating along. Possibly even drifting apart. Perhaps you even feel uncertain of each other. No one is rocking your relationship boat. But neither of you are really taking the helm to right the ship either.
Couples counseling can provide space and time for your relationship. Guided by an objective third party, you can re-chart your mutual direction, and resume your journey together.
- One partner is “fine”. The other? Not so much.
Has avoidance become a resident in your relationship? Is one of you ready to address relationship concerns while the other just wants to let things lie? Couples often disagree about how much attention the issues and irritants of their shared life deserve. Some partners worry that resentment will build. Some partners worry that discussing problems will just create more problems.
Couples counseling is an excellent place to express yourselves safely, dissect your disconnect openly, and find ways to resolve issues without using avoidance or risking resentment.
- Partners just realized they don’t know each other as well as they thought.
Do you feel like somewhere along the way you lost your best friend? Many couples look at each other across their morning coffee and wonder what happened to the camaraderie, easy conversation, and inside jokes they used to share. If you don’t know much about each other anymore, it’s time to take action.
Couples counseling can help you get curious about each other again. Together, you can examine what may be preventing you from seeing each other clearly or deeply connecting. Counseling provides a space to engage, actively reassure each other, and prioritize your relationship.
- Negativity is becoming an unwelcome pattern.
Are you upset that somehow a tendency to nitpick and nag has wormed its way into your relationship? Are one or both of you feeling disrespected, mourning a loss of acceptance, or sensing a decline in admiration?
If so, couples counseling can help temper hard feelings. Together you can tap into any unresolved issues and unmet expectations that may be fueling your discord. Allowing the therapist to help you uncover and deal with the root issue fosters healing, provides insight and promotes more compassion in your relationship. Couples counseling protects the integrity and humanity of both partners as you challenge and reframe the thoughts that chip away at your regard for each other.
- Couples want to know how to keep conflicts manageable and repair rifts quickly.
If you and your partner have trouble navigating conflict, you’re not alone here either. Learning to disagree without damaging your relationship is a skill many couples don’t have when they enter a relationship. Thus, conflict can devolve quickly into unproductive interactions that frustratingly recur.
Couples counseling can show you both how to support and affirm your connection, even if you strongly disagree with each other. Working with a counselor helps couples identify conflict triggers and unhelpful thought patterns. As you increase awareness, you can stem anger and concentrate on solutions.
- Couples counseling helps rebuild trust.
Hurt and betrayal sometimes happen in intimate relationships. And trust may be hard to come by afterward. The work of rebuilding trust is vital to the long-term survival of love for many couples.
Couples counseling is an ideal place to help you process grief, practice self-examination, and navigate reconciliation. Moreover, the more you come together, the more you deepen your appreciation for honest communication and sincere sharing.
- Both partners want to give it all they’ve got.
You’re committed to your relationship and you want to see it through. You want to see it thrive. So, you’ve committed to being as healthy, intentional, and open-minded as possible. You recognize that having a couple’s counselor is gaining an expert supporter and advocate of your relationship goals. What’s the harm in that?
Couples counseling is built on the idea that your relationship is too precious to simply “hope for the best.” Sessions are geared around the idea that it is rewarding to seek help, protect your connection, and secure it with sound relationship practices. In essence, couples counseling is time well spent.
Lastly, please take some time to consider and discuss these common reasons couples seek counseling. Contemplate reasons of your own that are unique to your relationship too. And when you’re ready, please contact me. I’d love to meet with you both.